


House Arrest

by MagicalDragon



Series: The Ballad of Gay Shepard [3]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Drinking & Talking, Drinking to Cope, Earthborn (Mass Effect), Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27816649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicalDragon/pseuds/MagicalDragon
Summary: James spotted the VR headset and lifted it. Suddenly, Shepard felt way more awake.“What have you been holed up watching, anyway? Catching up on the newest bingeable series now that you have time?”Shepard rushed up from the bed and shouted: “James, wait!”Before Shepard could stop him, though, James had put on the VR headset.Fuck me…Shepard was 99% sure that he still had porn open on that.
Relationships: Male Shepard & James Vega
Series: The Ballad of Gay Shepard [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1998835
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	House Arrest

Returning to Earth was weird for Shepard. He hadn't been back in years, had never really intended to go back for longer than a shore leave anyway. He didn't think about retirement much, but when he had, he'd imagined the Citadel, not Earth. He was so used to the intergalactic bustle of several species coming together in collaboration and infighting that going back to living with only humans would feel wrong, somehow. Besides, Earth didn't hold much in the way of happy memories for him… His time at the Academy had been decent enough, the mix of discipline and the first real taste of freedom from destitution he'd ever experienced had suited him well. Still, Earth… it was a place that held a lot of pain for him. He’d been shuffled between foster home after foster home till he eventually just ran off when he hit 14. That’s when he’d joined the Tenth Street Reds - they were better than being alone on the streets of Montreal. His time with the gang had been alright for a while. As a scruffy looking kid, he’d mostly just been a lookout, there to ring the alarm if a cop came near. As he’d gotten older, though, he’d gotten more involved with gang business and with that came danger. In the end, he’d had as many enemies as allies in the gang and he’d wanted out. The Alliance had been that out. Just like Ceberus, they’d been a means to an end and that end had been getting off of Earth.

Now he was back. 

He’d been back for months and there was no saying how long they’d keep him. 

He was, for the most part, confined to the brig within Alliance headquarters. He could walk around with an escort sometimes, but for the most part, the brig was all he saw. 

It was stifling, to say the least, after having travelled all over the galaxy for the last decade of his life. The thought of the Reapers getting nearer and nearer by every day he was stuck here didn’t help. He had to trust that Hackett was doing everything he could, but it tore at him, nevertheless, the inaction. 

Still, it wasn’t all bad. The brig was hardly some horror show of a prison, like the one he’d dragged Jack out of last year. No, the Alliance followed human procedure on treatment of prisoners and the brig consisted of several comfortably furnished, spacious apartments. Shepard’s was, in fact, both bigger and nicer than his cabin had been on the Normandy. Still, he didn’t doubt he was getting a bit on special treatment on top of that, though. His guard, a lieutenant called James Vega, was entirely willing to buy him anything he wanted - bar weapons, he assumed - and would often just hangout with Shepard. Anderson came by sometimes, too, and he’d been allowed to maintain a (monitored) chat with Joker. It mostly consisted of shitty memes and inside jokes, they couldn’t talk about anything that mattered, but it was something. It, along with his visitors, kept him sane. 

For the most part, anyway. 

“Heading out to get you groceries, sir,” James said from where he was staring into a mostly empty fridge. “You need anything?” 

James was oddly nice to him. Had insisted on first name basis, but still called him “sir” though he had no reason to. Shepard had been stripped of rank and though there had been no trial yet, he was largely considered a war criminal. 

“Gin,” Shepard said. “And some vodka, too.”

“What kind?”

“The kind that gets you drunk.”

James shook his head at him. 

“You sure you don’t just want beer for that?” 

“If you find beer with the same alcohol content as vodka, you can buy that for me.”

James laughed.

“Alright, then. Anything else?” 

Shepard considered it for a bit.

“The same hair dye I had you buy last time.”

Shepard had been bleaching his hair for years. James had been confused, the first time Shepard had him buy the product - what did it matter what his hair looked like in the brig? It didn’t, really. But it was another one of those things that kept Shepard (mostly) sane. 

“I already ordered that on the extranet, sir. It should be here in a few days.”

“Then no.”

James nodded. 

“I’m heading out, then. Don’t try to escape or anything while I’m gone.”

Shepard rolled his eyes. As if he wanted to kill the amount of Alliance personnel getting out of here would take… James knew that, though. Shepard had handed himself over. No-one he’d interacted with really seriously expected him to try to break out. 

Once James had left, Shepard put on a VR headset and lay down on his bed. 

  
  


“I’m back!” James shouted from the door. 

Shepard was still in his bed, but the VR headset had been discarded. Now he was playing an asari farming simulator on his (highly restricted) omni-tool. Well, at the moment he was mostly just looking at digital cattle walking back and forth while trying not to fall asleep, but it counted, he supposed. 

When he didn’t answer James, he came wandering into the bedroom. 

“You asleep or what?” 

“No,” Shepard muttered sleepily. 

“Come on, I’ll cook for you if you come help out.” 

Shepard hummed noncommittally. He wanted out of here so he could go stop the Reapers. He didn’t really care about the food. 

James walked further into the room and looked around. There wasn’t much to see, really. Shepard had a single digital picture frame where selfies taken with every member of his suicide squad team, along with Joker, Dr. Chakwas and Liara, played on repeat. That was the only personal touch in the entire room. He hadn’t been allowed his pets or model ships in the brig. 

James spotted the VR headset and lifted it. Suddenly, Shepard felt way more awake.

“What have you been holed up watching, anyway? Catching up on the newest bingeable series now that you have time?” 

Shepard rushed up from the bed and shouted: “James, wait!” 

Before Shepard could stop him, though, James had put on the VR headset.

_ Fuck me…  _

Shepard was 99% sure that he still had porn open on that. 

“Oh, wow!” James exclaimed.

Yeah, it would have been too much to hope for that 1% to come through, wouldn’t it? Shepard facepalmed and groaned. James laughed as he took off the headset again.

“No offense, but that’s probably more than I needed to know about you, Commander.”

Shepard let himself fall back onto the bed. 

“Then you shouldn’t have put it on,” he said dryly, silently thanking whatever entity had kept him alive this long that he hadn’t downloaded that hanar-human porn he’d been curious about after all. He was at least 80% sure what James had seen was just good old-fashioned human-human porn. Slim chance there might be a turian or a krogan in there, but even that would be less embarrassing than the hanar-human vid would have been. 

“Not that I’m judging, I’d probably be watching porn too in your situation.”

“Vega?” Shepard said from under the hand that was still firmly attached to his face. 

“Yes, sir?” 

“Just hand me the damn vodka.” 

James laughed at him once more but did as instructed. Shepard opened it and took a swig straight from the bottle. 

“Don’t you think you owe me a drink too, after that?”

Shepard removed his hand to glare at James. 

“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” 

James just sent him the most innocent smile he could muster. Which was, of course, not particularly innocent. 

Shepard rolled his eyes.

“Fine. I’m making us G&Ts while we cook. But come with me to the kitchen, I don’t trust you alone in here.”

“Scared I’ll find your Fornax?” 

“Fuck you.” 

James laughed again.

  
  


It ended up being more than simply a G&T while they cooked. They drank heavily both while they cooked, while they ate and afterwards. Shepard more so than James, who was still, supposedly, Shepard’s guard and thus needed to stay a bit more alert. Or at least that was why Shepard assumed he didn’t get as drunk. Maybe James just had less reason to drink himself stupid. 

In the end, well after midnight, Shepard lay down on the floor to make it stop spinning. It was nice and cool, too. James had been looking at something on his omni-tool last Shepard checked, but he wasn’t sure how long it had been. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been lying on the nice, cool floor. 

"James…" Shepard whined. 

"What?"

"I want dick."

James spluttered with laughter. Through his drunkenness, Shepard vaguely perceived the inappropriateness of his words. He was finding it hard to care.

"Yeah," James laughed. "I gathered. Afraid I can't help you there, though."

"Didnt… didn't mean you… don't sleep with subordima… subordinates…" Shepard slurred. 

"Well I'm technically not your subordinate, remember? Not that I'm going to sleep with you, but another lieutenant might."

Shepard just groaned and turned over on his side to grab the vodka bottle. James was too fast, though.

"Hey there, sir, I think that's enough, right?" 

Shepard stated at him accusatorily and tried to grab the bottle from his hand. Again, James was faster. 

"Can't a man drown his sommows… sorrows in… in peace anymore…"

"They're already struggling in the water," James said dryly as he put the vodka on the kitchen table. "Trust me, Loco, you'll thank me in the morning."

Shepard just groaned and buried his face in the floor. 

“If you want, I can put out feelers to see if another officer wants to come sleep with you,” James teased. “I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who’d love to be able to say they fucked Commander Shepard.”

“Shut up…” Shepard mumbled. “Don’t need help…” 

“You planning to get a hook-up app on your omni-tool, instead? Tell guys to come to the Alliance brig, no worries?” 

Shepard lifted his face from the floor to glare at James.

“Fuck you.” 

James roared with laughter. 

“Let’s get you to bed in the meantime, hmm?” 

Shepard mumbled some more insults that had James amused, but didn’t protest when James helped him up and to his bed. 

The last thing Shepard heard before he fell asleep was: 

“Talk tomorrow, Loco.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure there's some expanded universe stuff that contradicts how I've portrayed the house arrest but like. Put it in your games if you want it to be canon Bioware lol


End file.
